5:21:39!

I DID IT! Sunday I ran the Chicago Marathon with a time of 5:21:39. I am a marathoner! There are lots of thoughts following, so bear with me.

My medal!

Running for Team Bright Pink was awesome. Now that I've run with a charity team, I can't imagine training alone! I had to raise a fair amount of money, but what we got back in return from Bright Pink was great and very supportive. Aside from the training program, access to the FFC gyms, spa night, and various seminars, we had a pasta party the night before the race. Here we got to meet the rest of the team (many were from out of town) and enjoyed some last minute carbo-loading. We also heard a lot of about Bright Pink and their mission, and I got to meet and talk with the founder Lindsay Avner and some of the other staff. I told Lindsay about Megan and I, how I was BRCA-2 positve and that I was very inspired by her to get my own prophylactic double mastectomy. She also complimented the new ones :) Because Bright Pink has given me so much I was honored to be a part of giving something back. 

Lindsay Avner and I, founder of Bright Pink. 

Our coaches also came and gave us more tips, since the weather at the start (~40 degrees) would be much colder than what we had been training in. Those tips were indispensable, including wearing a trash bag at the start! On race morning, our team met at the FFC gym where we also met for our regular long runs, since it was close to the start. I also got a ride from my training buddy Linsey, who has regularly been carting me around to and from the long runs. This all helped me feel relaxed, seeing my team and coaches the night before and following the same morning routine. I tried to think of the race as a regular Saturday run to calm my nerves.  

Me and my training buddy Linsey ready to rock it!

(Most of) Team Bright Pink pre-race

I am so so grateful for everyone who came out to support me. Knowing that I would see Tim, Mom, and Billy at the designated places (together with Ethan at the last 2!) gave me something to look forward to. I wrote an itinerary so I would see them at miles 4, 11, 21.5, and 26. They are such troopers for braving the cold and trekking around the city to see me. I can't describe how much it helped me keep going, knowing I'd see them coming up. It was also helpful knowing that I could chuck my long sleeve shirt at them when I warmed up, and that Tim had extra Gu and Body Glide in case something went really wrong. 

The race itself was great. My secret goal was definitely too ambitious. Everyone says that for first time marathoners, the goal should just be to finish. And now I see why because 26.2 miles is REALLY LONG! I probably would have had to run the race of my life to break 5 hours. My training pace might have been close, but I get to pause my watch in training when I stop to get water, hydrate, and stretch, but the race clock doesn't stop! I also didn't really do any math to come up with my goal, I just doubled my best half marathon time. But that's okay because my secondary goal was to run the whole race without walking, and to run all the hills, especially the one at the end. Check, and check.  

A testament to my training, I don't think it ever occurred to me during the race that I might not finish. I just somehow knew I could do it, and I didn't even doubt it. Sure, I was tired and my knees hurt, but my legs cooperated, my stomach felt fine, and I really don't think I ever hit "the wall." Throughout the last half of the course you see people at the Medical tents, stopping to stretch, and you wonder what happened and are thankful that's not you. Some people get up and finish, and I hope that's what I could do if something went awry. Everyone can have a bad run, but the hope is that through training you've encountered and beat all of the challenges. Through our training I was able to overcome my mental obstacles, build my endurance, test out all my gear and hydration so I knew I wouldn't chafe or upset my stomach. I knew my shoes were great, and I wouldn't get blisters. When I got to the start line and started running, I just knew I could do it because that's what I trained to do and I was prepared.  

Another reason I knew I could do it was because of all of YOU! I am so thankful for everyone who sent me well wishes, from my family to my donors, my chiropractor, everyone who was tracking me, friends, and strangers, and everyone who thought of me on Sunday. I had my name on my visor and my bib, and I just loved people encouraging me by name on the course. Every time it made me smile when strangers would cheer me on. The Chicago Marathon is packed with spectators the whole way. The course winds through 29 different neighborhoods and the character comes through all the way. People holding up signs, clapping, handing out water and food and beer. Even if I never run another marathon in Chicago, you better believe I'll be on the course cheering people on, because it meant so much to me. 

I wrote all of my donors on my back.  THANK YOU EVERYONE!!

My miles donors written on my arm.

Okay now onto the course. I felt great for the first few miles downtown. All smiles, I made it over all of the bridges just fine (the course crosses the Chicago River three times during the first three or so miles in the course), and was excited that I'd be seeing my family at mile 4. I saw them, gave a nice smile and wave, and settled in for the rest of the north trek. I was actually on pace to meet my goal, so I was pretty excited. On this stretch north, I saw one of the greatest things--we passed by the nursing home around Sheridan and Belmont, and there were old folks inside waving to us from the second floor windows, and runners waving back. That was so awesome, it almost brought a tear to my eye!

Continuing north and turning at Addison, I was actually still maintaining my pace but somewhere around mile 10, I was starting to get tired, and I realized if I was going to finish this thing, I couldn't maintain that pace. And making it to the end was obviously my real goal, so I forgot about my secret goal and just tried to keep smiling. I knew it would take most of my mental energy to get me the whole way, so that became my focus, and if I was close to my goal at the halfway point, I would re-evaluate. I knew I didn't want to walk, and that I wanted to tackle all of the hills. (As I've said before, hills in Chicago aren't quite hills, but they sure feel huge when you're running and tired!) 

A lot of the race was a blur, but I kept making little mental goals. I knew I'd be seeing Elvis around mile 10 near Fleet Feet (I gave him a high five) and I also recognized someone from college that I haven't seen since graduation. After I saw my family around mile 11 I said "See you soon!" Okay it would be 10 miles, close to 2 hours, but I had to stay positive! My next goal after that was returning to downtown, the halfway mark, and heading out to the West Loop. I was feeling good, and we rounded a corner onto Halsted at a huge cheer zone and they were blasting "Call Me Maybe." You know I sang all the words! In fact I was probably "that girl" during the race, talking to strangers and being a little ridiculous, singing along to the songs, but it really helped keep me distracted and encouraged. The Clif Shot station around 17.8 miles was another goal where I might see my friend Steve. Miracle of all miracles, I saw him! He ran with me for maybe a half mile and gave me lots of encouragement. By then we only had single digit miles left to go. The rest of the race was a blur, there were a few lonely miles but I just tried to tick them off one by one and get closer to the finish. The next place I would see my family was Chinatown, where I hear it's just a big party and I knew I'd see my family again. I slowed down, trying to pick them out of the crowd, and finally saw them. I threw my shirt at Tim, as it had finally warmed up, and kept on going. 

After that, I only had about 5 miles to go. I owned this! The southernmost part of the course after Chinatown was a little rough, but I knew we'd be turning soon. At Mile 23 I heard people give out beer in Dixie cups, and when I saw them I thought what the heck, since I was nowhere near my goal. After that, with only 5K left, being "that girl" I yelled out "We eat 5Ks for breakfast!" Well no one seemed to respond but it sure helped me! The last stretch coming up Michigan seemed like forever, but the miles went by until there was only 1 left. At this point, the crowds are pretty thin, but I knew we'd be seeing them again. Part of me wanted to push it, but I kept thinking about the big hill at the end, and I really wanted to tackle that one. Plus, you know, I was exhausted. Almost at the end, I thought I was going to lose it, but it's pretty hard to breath when you're crying, so I held it back.  

I saw my family again at Mile 26 and knew I owned this! I ran up the hill and passed this guy who was shuffling up. This guy was clearly in pain, dragging himself up, not even walking, holding the flag of his country, with a course official close next to him making sure he was okay. The determination on that guy's face was inspiring. I yelled "You got this! The finish line is over this hill!" and kept going. Then I turned the corner and saw it. Finally!! Crossed the finish, with my arms in the air, and cried my eyes out. What a release. Then I got my cool space jacket, told the medal people "Medal me!" and then the beer people "Beer me!" I shuffled to the exit, cursed the soul who put stairs there, then somehow found my family in the huge crowd. It was so great to see them, all smiles again!!

Billy taking a picture of me and my medal! I highly recommend bringing your own paparazzi when you run a marathon.

So what's next for me? Well this coming Sunday is Run Like an Antelope, the race in memory of my sister. There's still time to sign up! After that, I'm going to let my body heal for awhile, but I have signed up for a few 5Ks before the end of the year, a half marathon in January, the Soldier Field 10 miler in May, and the Women's Half Marathon in June. I can't guarantee that I'll be running another marathon any time soon, at least not until my legs forget what I've put them through. And I won't stop my involvement with Bright Pink, I am volunteering for their VIPink event in a few weeks and hope to continue attending their outreach events. 

And finally, Happy Birthday to Megan, who would be 32 today. You kept me going every step of the way, and when I needed a little push I would say "Let's do this, Megan!" I am ever grateful for you and your inspiration. I love you, I couldn't have done it without you. 

Track me, maybe?

So if you, like me, are excited for me to run the Chicago Marathon on Sunday, you may be thinking, "Wow Jocelyn how can I track you?" You might not be, but I'm going to tell you anyways! 

My bib # is 50108. (Aside: That's right, there's 50,000 runners. Amazing. The town I grew up in, Acushnet, MA, had a population of 10,303 in the 2010 census). If you would like to "follow" me via text, you can sign up with my bib # here. You will get my 10K, half marathon, 30K, and finish splits. 

Tim and my parents are going to spectate. I am picking out a few places for them to see. You can meet up with them (let me know if you need Tim's #). Or if you have your own plans to spectate elsewhere for the race, PLEASE let me know approximately where so I can look out for you. I'm sure I will be happy to see familiar faces!

Here is the map of the Chicago Marathon. I have been staring at this course now for 5 months-it's hanging up at my desk. I have taken the bus/walked/run many of these streets before, but this is different! The course runs through downtown, up to the north side, past my first apartment, through Lincoln Park where I have run many 5Ks, past the gym where I've been training, past my last apartment, the place where Tim and I had our first date, the running store where I've spent loads of money, past my office, by the United Center, through areas I've never been to, Chinatown (which I hear is just a big party on race day!), by Sox Park, and finally up Michigan, past "the legs" where all of our Saturday runs have started, and finally up Mount Roosevelt to the finish in Grant Park. 

I am anticipating seeing off my cheer squad when I head into to the start corrals around 7am, and them heading up to Clark/Division on the Red Line where they can see me around Miles 4 &11. After that, I think the next place for them will be in Chinatown, around Mile 21. Hopefully they can make it back to Roosevelt in time to see me right near the end at Mile 26. It's an ambitious plan, let's hope it works!

You know how Tim likes to tweet! So he will use the hashtag for the race is #runladyrun. Hopefully he can update you if the above plans change. 

Before you go, here's some fun facts about the Chicago Marathon (thanks wikipedia):

• The Chicago Marathon is one of the five World Major Marathons, which includes Boston, Chicago, New York, Berlin, and London. 
• This year is the race's official 35th anniversary, although the race existed in different forms before 1977. Its original name in 1977 was the Mayor Daley Marathon.
• The first marathon in Chicago was in 1905, starting from Evanston, with 20 registered runners. Only 15 actually started and 7 finished. 
• The Chicago Marathon is an open field and there is no qualifying time.
• The marathon draws lots of registrants because of the open field, and being fast and flat. 
• World records have been broken on the Chicago course four times. Paula Radcliffe set a world record on the course in 2002 at 2:17:18, which is still the women's course record. 
• This year Liliya Shobukhova of Russia is going for her uprecedented 4th consecutive win. 

I am honored to be part of this tradition and can't wait to for race day! That's it for now, I'm sure I'll have some last minute thoughts/nerves before the race. 

You've come a long way, baby.

It's here. Race week! In the past few weeks since my 20-miler high, I have waffled through every emotion possible. Twinge in my quad, mild cold, nervousness, being antsy, feeling like a slacker, unsure of my preparation, excited, and back to nervous again. I just got back from a pretty great 4 mile run so I'm settling on excited for now. 

Last week I was feeling very blah, and I pinpointed why during my run this Saturday. It just all came over me that there is so much going on these next few weeks (marathon, trying on my wedding dress with Mom, going back to Worcester for Megan's race, Megan's birthday, visiting the wedding venue in New Bedford, going to the catering tasting) and I'm feeling a huge hole because I would be sharing every minute of it with Megan. And I'm not. But on the way back from our run Saturday I was talking about this with my training buddy (who also lost her Dad to cancer) and not to sound trite, but you're allowed to let the sadness to take over, but you're also allowed to turn it into something positive to motivate you. I am very sad Megan isn't here, but I would hate to let being sad take over and not give this everything I have. I'm sure she will be encouraging and motivating me next Sunday just like she would if she were here. I would hate to wake up on Monday thinking I could have done better. 

Lots of marathoners say that the training is the hard part, and the marathon is a 26.2 mile party to the finish. Well that sounds good! It makes sense, seeing as how I've been training all summer. The preparation is (mostly) done, and I just have to trust my training to take me there. Someone else at my recent panel also suggested going back and looking through your training log to get yourself excited. As an engineer, I love stats and numbers, so of course I like to look back at my runs in Daily Mile. Check out my training for the last 26 weeks, when I first signed up for the marathon:

My training for the last 6 months. 

I've run almost 400 miles! That's further than it is from Chicago to Cleveland, Des Moines, St. Louis, Milwaukee, Green Bay, or Detroit. Almost to Minneapolis. 

Going further back, 7.5 months ago I had a double mastectomy and I got so winded I could hardly walk up my stairs at home. And then had my implant exchange surgery 2 months later. I think getting to where I am now, ready to run a marathon, is already quite an accomplishment. Even further back, the longest distance I had run before training was 10 miles. Now I've run two half marathons in preparation (with many more 13mi+ training runs). I was also exchanging stories with one of my marathoner co-workers today and I remembered a time even further back in high school on the track team (I didn't run, threw shot put and discus of course) when there were only 2 entrants in the 1600 (2 mi), so my team convinced me to run and get an automatic point. I got lapped! But hey, I finished. Point well earned. 

This summer I have worked so hard, as you have read, waking up early, training, soaking in ice baths, and stretching, and this is the week to enjoy how far I've come and get ready for the big race. I've had good runs, and bad runs, but I've done every training run, even if I had to cut a few of them short. I feel confident I can run the race I've trained for. I of course have a secret goal that I would love to crush, but realistically, I just want to finish with a smile. And I can't wait to see familiar faces on the course, and Tim, Mom, and Billy at the finish!

Taper time

Well dear friends, I am halfway through my taper time. For you non-distance runners out there, the taper is the time 2-3 weeks out from the marathon our mileage is severely cut back to rest up for race day. In the peak weeks of my training (before the 20 miler), I built up a lot of endurance and depleted a lot of my energy stores. This time is used for my body to repair itself, build up my glycogen stores, and mentally prepare for the race. The point is to rest, but not too much. This figure from another running blog shows visually how tapering can help your body for race day. 

Taper!! From runningnut dot com

I've heard many stories or people getting through their taper, enjoying their taper, and making themselves crazy during their taper. Having built up to our peak mileage, having to cut back leaves people with a lot of antsy energy. I've fallen into each of these categories at some point!

My body is definitely enjoying the break from the high weekly miles, maybe a little too much. I've been feeling a little under the weather the last few days, so I'm hoping I get all of this out of my system before race day. I have been drinking lots of Emergen-C, hot tea, Gatorade, and water, and getting lots of rest. I admit that every tiny twinge I feel freaks me out, but overall I'm feeling pretty good. I just need to maintain the same level of focus I have been for the final home stretch. The most important thing for me to do is follow the training plan and stay consistent. No use trying to work on speed, throw in a little extra mileage, or do an extra work out. You can't cram for a marathon, the hard work is done and behind me.

Tomorrow is our last group long run (6 miles...I remember when that was our long run in the beginning!) before the race. After that, there are a handful of 4 mile runs and then finally RACE DAY! In the next week I will be posting more information on the race, where you can spectate on the course, how to track me during the race. Another tip from the panel I attended last week was to go through your old training logs, so that you can remember how far you've come. Keep your eyes out for more to come!

I apologize in advance to anyone and everyone I speak to in the next nine days because I will not SHUT UP about the marathon. I will be obsessing about weather reports, what I'm wearing, a minor muscle ache in my quad, hydration, eating. Just remind me to stay excited and enjoy myself. I'll thank you later. 

Race day checklist

Because I'm a Type A personality (you knew that, right?) I have attended no less than 1 seminar on the marathon, received a checklist from my trainer, talked to every marathoner I know, and read countless articles to better prepare myself for marathon day. There's a Plan A and a Plan B in the works. Because, you know, you have to be prepared and then be ready for not being prepared. I'm notorious for forgetting my phone, wallet, keys, race bibs, grocery list, etc, so this is why I like to make lists so I hopefully don't forget any of these things. 

My race day list includes many things, including all of my hydration needs, race bib, watch, body glide, wallet, clothes to change into for the post-race party, compression socks, etc. But most importantly is what I'm going to wear for the race. It's hard enough to pick what to wear every day, but try picking out what you want to wear for your first marathon! There's a lot of trial and error that went into finding the perfect long distance running clothing, at least for me. I've got to find something that's comfortable and gets the job done, whatever job that may be, without chafing, riding up, etc. From the top down, hats, shirts, shorts, socks, and shoes, any bad item can make for a frustrating run. 

Top: You may remember I posted about my favorite tanks earlier this summer. Well I've got some runners up now to choose from, one from Moving Comfort and one from Athleta. They both have really great support up top, fit very well, and have pockets. Of course, the snag is that it's recently been a little bit colder and who knows what the weather will be like on race day, so a tank top might not do it, especially if on race day I have to mill about at the start line for an hour. People usually recommend wearing a junky t-shirt or getting tube socks and cutting off the feet to make armwarmers so you can just take them off and chuck them after you're warmed up, so I might do that. 

Bottoms: I have a favorite pair of Adidas running capris that I've worn for many races, but they don't have any pockets (which is why I love tanks with pockets!)

Head: Some people go the sunglasses route, and others hats/visors. I still have never tried sunglasses, so I'll just stick to hats. I really like wearing my Red Sox hat at races (as evidenced by the sweat rings it now has), but it gets too hot during the long distances to be practical. I've been sporting a black visor, that's probably what I'll wear on race day. I will also put my name on my visor, on bright pink duct tape, because one tip I've heard from so many people is to have your name visible so people can cheer you on. 

Socks: My favorites are Balegas. I've never had a blister (knock on wood) and their short socks have a little tab the protect my heel from chafing. They're about $10 a pair but worth every penny. 

Shoes: The newer of my 2 pairs of shoes are the Saucony's that I posted about a few weeks ago. Unless I feel any pain, they'll be my goto for the race. 

Not so coincidentally, this is the outfit I wore for my last half marathon! So if you're looking to cheer me on during the race, look for a lady dressed like this, except her bib # will be 50108. Also be nice to her and remind her to smile because she's going twice as far as she did that day:

Marathon veterans, anything else I'm forgetting?

No one likes a Negative Nancy

So this weekend, I finished my longest training run, 20 miles! A lot of people from our team turned out, it was pretty inspiring. We did a loop that went south, then back, then north, then back, so we end up passing by teammates multiple times on the course. I liked that. Also, spending 4 hours alone with my thoughts was something, and I think I really turned a corner after this run, and am filled with confidence that I can run the marathon. Here's some of what I focused on or learned this run:

I can run it alone.
For the last few runs I have been going with a buddy, which made the time go much faster, but she is actually must faster than me so this weekend she went with a faster group and I was by myself. On race day I have to be by myself, so I was glad to have the practice and be able to be my own motivator. Before she came along I was doing a lot of walking still, so I'm glad to have gotten through this one without walking. 

I don't have to be fast. 
For the first few miles I could see the faster pack in front of me and struggled to keep up. Then finally, I just let them go. I know they're faster than me. I know it. I just stopped caring. I have to run at the pace that I know I can, and stop trying to constantly catch up with people I can't hang with. There will always be people faster than me, and I'm not out to beat anyone, I just want to finish. As long as they don't shuffle me off the course and I finish on my own 2 feet, I will consider it a success.

I can finish. And maybe do better than I think. 
For some reason, every time I did the math for my projected finish time in the marathon, I would always round up--by a lot. I'm not sure if it's because I wanted a goal I knew I could break, or if I just expected myself to fall apart and do a lot of walking. I put myself in the last corral, without even doing the math, even though I probably belong in the one before that. Finally, after running 20 miles, I actually feel like I can finish without falling apart. 

Focus on Form
One of our trainers really resonates with me, and he gave us a few tips before the run. He talked about our posture, form, and staying positive. I forgot half of his tips, but the one on form really stuck with me, and I would pick it up whenever I got tired. When you're running, your arms should be going straight front and back, not across your chest. When I'm tired, I tend to get poor form, slump over, and drag my arms across my chest. So I would focus on my form when I knew I was tired, it helped me get through some rough patches. 

SMILE
I think the trainer's best tip was to SMILE! Having a positive attitude is so important. The camaraderie on the lakefront path on Saturday was awesome, so many people were out there running their 20 milers. It really does change your attitude to see so many smiles rather than exhausted faces. At my last half marathon, I tried to have a really fun race, smile for all the cameras, and give the thumbs up as much as possible. Maybe it's no coincidence that I had a great race! 

I am my biggest believer
It is finally dawning on me just how mental distance running is. You may remember my post about the little devil on my shoulder. Well, there is no room for him any more. I can do this, and I just may surprise myself how well I do it. It's funny when people would ask me how my last half marathon went I would say, "Great!" but when they asked me about my time, I would say, "Well I'm really slow, so just under 2:30." I don't know why I feel the need to tell everyone I'm slow, finishing a half marathon is a huge accomplishment! No need to front load with an apology. I have to be my biggest cheerleader. 

When I got back from my run, the trainer said, "You did it! How did it feel?" And without warning, I started to cry. Because it went well. And this was the first time I actually felt it and now I believe it. I can actually do this, I am going to run the marathon.  

To my biggest supporter: Tim

I know Tim loves it when I mention him in my blog, so Tim here's a whole post just about you!

They say behind every successful man is a strong woman, or something like that, but behind this strong woman is a supportive man: Tim. You are the best. 

Tim was the first person I asked back in May if running the marathon was a good idea or not. His response: "Why the hell not!" Not sure either of us knew what we were signing up for, but it's been a long journey. Just like me, Tim has lost his leisurely weekends. He's also gained a grumpy, tired, and often hungry fiancée and a Saturday 5am wakeup call. We joke that Tim is my athletic supporter, but he really is. He has come almost all of my races since we've been together, holding my bag, taking pictures, coming out onto the course to see me, waiting around for anywhere between 30 minutes to 2.5 hours, listening to me decrompress afterwards, and of course on many occasions, sharing celebratory brunch. He is who I look forward to seeing at the finish line, and it always makes me smile. I am very excited that he will be there to cheer me on during the marathon. The course even goes by the site of our first date! I will be very thankful to see him, my parents, and other familiar faces on the course. 

He has also been incredibly encouraging during training. He adds another layer of accountability for me when I tell him the game plan for the day. Tim is a great cook and loves to do it; it's nice to come home to a prepared meal, especially since I haven't felt much like cooking lately. He gets the pot of hot coffee ready on my way home from my long runs, so I can jump into the ice bath as soon as I get home. And of course he listens to me because I probably don't shut up about all of this, since it has consumed my life.  

On a few occasions, Tim has even run with me. Those times mean so much to me, especially since I know he hates it.  I try to make sure I only ask him to do fun races or things important to me, like the Terrapin 5K earlier this summer for my birthday or the Run Like an Antelope race in Memory of my sister Megan. He even let me sign us up for the Santa Hustle 5K in December--they give you a Santa shirt, beard and hat!

Tim and I at the Ravenswood Run

Tim has had to go along with a lot of my crazy ideas, and I love and appreciate him for that. A good sport doesn't even begin to describe him. He is truly a great partner, on top of being a good listener, caretaker, and my personal chef. He has been there so much for me in the past few years, I can't imagine how it must feel on his end to be asked for so much. Relationships are about give and take, and we've both had our share on either side of the equation, but lately I've been the taker. I ask him to take care of my blind cat while I'm away and I drag him (a true blue Yankees fan) to Fenway Park every April. He has met everyone in my huge family and bonded with many of them over good food and brews. It always made me so happy whenever I heard him joking around or laughing with Mom, Billy, Dad, Rusty and Megan, I know he fits in! He was supportive of me when I decided to get tested for the BRCA genetic mutation, listened as I weighed the options for having a mastectomy, was by my side at my sister's funeral, sat in the waiting room for hours with my Mom when I had my double mastectomy, again when I had my reconstruction, and listened to me whine about the tissue expanders in the meantime. I feel like I have asked a lot of him, but he's been there every time.

I couldn't ask for a better partner in life. He's my perfect fit. Here's to a long and healthy rest of our lives together!

Race Report: Chicago Half Marathon

This Sunday I ran the Chicago Half Marathon with a time of 2:26:26. Overall this felt like a really good race, I ran the first 5-6 miles much faster than I've been training lately, and my pace was better than my recent long runs. I still see room for improvement (you know, when I'm not training for a full marathon...) but I was very pleased with the results. The weather was perfect, cool, breezy, and a bit sunny. The race course was also great--most of the race was on Lakeshore Drive, the volunteers were great, and there were plenty of spectators lining the course. And I love having my name on my bib, plenty of people out there encouraging me by name!

Rant time: Unfortunately, I was almost late to the start. We bought tickets for a race shuttle, still requiring us to wake up at 4:30 to get there for 5:30. (Tim is so awesome, by the way, for doing this.) They didn't send enough shuttle buses the first time around, so we waited for the next round. Well...the next round didn't come for at least another forty five minutes. We boarded and from the chatter on the bus radio is was clear there was chaos, none of the drivers knew what was going on and how to get us to the race because of the race street closures. So our driver parked about a half mile out and said "Want to get out here?" At this point we got out because goodness knows if we ever would have gotten there otherwise. I got the start just on time, with no time to warm up or stretch. I was a little angry, but at least I didn't miss the start. I do wish that the shuttle service was more organized, not only because we paid for it, but because the race organizers encouraged taking the shuttles and public transportation, and they provided the service, you'd think the service would get you to the start on time. Rant over, I hope they work out these kinks for next year. Because otherwise, it was a great race. 

Made it to the start line.

Finisher!

At the beginning of this year I never dreamed I would be training for a marathon, let alone run 2 half marathons in the process! And thanks again to Tim for getting up at 4:30am to cheer me on. He's a good egg, huh?

One month left!!

The Chicago Marathon is in 1 month. 

How did we get here?? Well, four months of hard work, that's the first answer. But with one left to go, the race is clearly in sight. With every long run I get more and more confidence that I can actually do this. I just have to stay focused and keep training, and get excited. I admit, I'm getting really tired of the long runs, and am starting to count how many more times I have to wake up at 5am on Saturdays/Sundays (down to 5, I can count them on one hand!), and since we're in our peak weeks, I'm pretty tired a lot. Although my back doesn't hurt much anymore (I really only feel it sometimes when I'm exercising or get up from bed), I'm still getting the usual aches and pains. The end is in sight though!

This weekend instead of my usual long run with the team (18 miles), I am running the Chicago Half Marathon. Initially I was a little nervous about running 13 rather than 18, but one of my trainers told me to just run my race, don't worry about adding mileage, and don't slack off. Kind of funny that a 13 mile run seems like a breather from the 18 my team will be doing! The forecast for Sunday looks like it's in the low 70's and sunny (hooray!) so I'm looking forward to a good race to get me back on track, and kickstart me into the home stretch. 

Also, I'm going to keep in mind the following tips from an article in Runner's World for half marathon and marathon training tips. You can't cram for a marathon, so now is the time to be consistent.

And in the meantime, enjoy this video to get you pumped up for the marathon: 

26 Donors for 26 Miles

As my training is ramping up for the final push (we are in our "peak" three weeks), our team fundraising is also ramping up. I'm almost at my fundraising goal for Bright Pink, and as a way to push me over the top I'm going to have my 26 miles "sponsored" by my donors (I stole this idea from one of my training mates, can't claim credit!). For me, this is a way to both thank you for your generosity, and to inspire me when I need a little something extra on the course.

The idea is that I will get 26 donors and I will dedicate a mile to each donor. I'm either going to memorize the list or laminate a little card (in my experience ink runs when wet with sweat!) to carry with me during the race. Before the marathon I'll also write up a little bit about each sponsored mile. So far this is what the list looks like:

Mile 1: Laura Amodeo
Mile 2: Sue Milkman
Mile 3: Ed Medeiros
Mile 4: Mom & Billy
Mile 5: Terri Sacco
Mile 6: Beth Martin & Al Sarrantonio
Mile 7: Thayer Preece
Mile 8: Tim
Mile 9: Erin Walker
Mile 10: Lisa Freeman
Mile 11: Maureen & Bill Chace
Mile 12: Jen Golenia
Mile 13: In Memory of Megan 
Mile 14: Jen Chin
Mile 15: Kate Carr
Mile 16: Maura Chace
Mile 17: Tofer Carlson
Mile 18: Steve Nazaran
Mile 19: The Cirillos
Mile 20: James Camara
Mile 21: John & Judy Lally
Mile 22: Noelle Miller
Mile 23: Marianne Montgomery
Mile 24: Madeline Sola
Mile 25: Mike & Lucy Warenski
Mile 26: Adam Epstein

And the last 0.2 will be my personal donation which is the change I've been collecting at my desk at work, as I (hopefully) SPRINT to the finish line!

I might shuffle people around, but you get the basic idea. Want in?? There's a few more spots left! 

As always, thanks for reading and thank you for your support!

**UPDATE: THANK YOU!!! All of my miles are sponsored!! You can still donate on my fundraising page here and I promise I won't forget about you during the race!

Hi Megan

Hi Megan:

I miss you so much. There's almost no way to describe it. It feels like the last time I saw you was yesterday, but also so long ago because so much has happened since then. I wish every day I could talk with you, and about nothing and about everything, but I have to settle for my memories and one-sided conversations. My biggest regret is not saying everything I wanted to all the time and during the last times I spent with you, so better late than never. 

First of all, I finally did something I'm sure you would be happy about, I had a mastectomy. I know your own journey to mastectomy was a tough one and we talked about that a lot, I'm certain you agreed that it was the right choice for me. After you passed away I read through all of your breastcancer.org posts and talked to our friends and I realized this was one thing you hoped for, that I took all of this more seriously and took care of myself. So I did. Thank you! I wish I could have learned the lesson any other way, but I still learned it. Mom and Tim were a great help to me while I recovered. It's really not so bad, all things considered (except those damn drains!). I just had my follow-up appointment with Dr. Kahn yesterday. Everything looks good and next up is entering the screening program for ovarian cancer detection.

I also signed up for the Chicago Marathon. Crazy, right? I can't believe it. I didn't really start running until the time Mom, Billy, and I watched you and Rusty at the 5K in Somerville, and then you all came to Chicago and we ran in the zoo. Now I'm doing this! I kind of can't believe it. I ran 16 miles today, and the marathon is in 5 weeks, right before your birthday. Mom and Billy are coming out, I'm very nervous/excited!

I love everything you ever gave me. The yarn you gifted me that I can't really bring myself to use, project bags you made me, the dutch oven you bought for me--everything. I asked Rusty last September if he would send me the Aidez sweater you were working on so that I could finish it. You were so close to being done. I finished the last bits and wore it all over the place last fall, and I can't wait for the cooler weather to come around so that I can wear it again. I feel a little bit guilty for stealing it but it really means a lot to me to be snuggled by your stitches. It would have been too big for you anyways ;) I also am severely behind on finishing that sweater for Rusty. I'm sorry! I promise I will finish it. 

Well maybe the biggest news of this year is that Tim and I are getting married (!!) He proposed in July, in front of all our friends (of course) and it's going to be next July at the Whaling Museum in New Bedford. We are so very excited, I know you'd love it. He gave me Mom's old ring from Dad, it's so pretty. He's actually moving in tomorrow, too. I wish so much that you could be there and help us plan the wedding. But we're saving a spot for you, don't worry. Rusty will be there too, Tim asked him to be in the wedding. 

Speaking of Rusty, he and your friends are amazing, they're organizing a 5K for you--Run Like an Antelope, how perfect. There are so many people coming out, you have inspired so many people to start running. People who know you, people who don't, people who love you and some that have never met you. Even Virginia from Gather Here! I don't think she'll ever forget the time you spilled a homebrew beer on the table at Pints n Purls. Rusty is also amazing. I wish I saw him more but we haven't been home a lot. He showed us a good time last April, we got to hang out with him, Poster, and Reba during our regular Patriots Day visit. And he came out for Tim's birthday, the Timtacular. We're all doing our best, but it's hard without you. 

I think about you all the time. Every time I hear Pink Floyd (You should have seen the  Olympics Closing Ceremonies, there was an awesome rendition of Wish You Were Here), The Dead, Ani DiFranco, or Phish. Every time I see Éphémère in the store or on tap. Every time I see something you made me. Every time I go somewhere we've been. Even helping Tim homebrew. I miss swapping recipes and talking Weight Watchers. I miss chatting with you. I've gone through our old chat logs, listened to old voicemails. There's all these things that didn't seem important at the time but they're all I have left so they mean everything. I've looked through pictures, but we have hardly any together as adults, it makes me sad. I'm sad we'll never have any more. At least we have some cute baby pictures, we were darn cute.

This year has been such a bittersweet one, because there has been a lot to be happy about, but every time I'm really happy it also comes with a dose of sadness, because I can't share it with you. It doesn't seem real, I still can't believe you're gone. But today we're celebrating your life, and Tim and I are off to celebrate it in the best way we know how, with some good food and beer :) Don't worry, there's Ephemere on tap. 

Miss you loads, love you lots. 
Jocelyn

Running torture/recovery devices

Earlier this week I was emailing back and forth with my cousin (Hi Maura!), who is running a half marathon on October 7 (same day as my marathon), and we were trading running apparatus recommendations. It occurred to me that I might share in some of our wacky accessories and means of recovery, and hopefully get recommendations on new ones. There's so much running gear out there, from GPS watches, special food, sports drinks, hydration belts, fancy headphones--it's probably all unnecessary. Nothing is actually required far beyond the right clothes, your legs, water, and stretching. But when my legs are tired and I've got aches and pains, I'll try almost anything, especially if it's cheap or recommended by a friend/trainer. Maybe I'm just a toy junkie. Anyways, here are some of my favorite recovery devices:

1. Ice bath:
Lately I've been taking these when I get home from my long runs. I take a quick hot shower to wash off the sweat, so I'm not sitting in my own filth. Then I get a cup of hot coffee, a magazine, and start filling up the tub with the coldest that comes out of the tap. If I'm feeling particularly brave, I throw in a few bowlfuls of ice from the freezer. I fill it up so it completely covers my legs, and then I sit for about 30 minutes. The thought here is that the cold water reduces inflammation and helps with muscle soreness. I met another marathoner this week who swears by this, but also she would rotate the ice bath with a hot shower (get in ice bath, run to another shower and get under hot hot water for 5 mins, back into ice bath, back into hot shower). I only have 1 tub so that's out for me!

2. Foot balls:
I have had some foot pain in the ball of my right foot, and the last time I went for shoes at Fleet Feet the salesperson recommended these Foot Balls. It's basically a nice little ball with fingers that can gently massage my feet. I keep it under my desk at work and just give it a few rolls every once in a while. They run about $5. 

3. Myofascial release/Foam Roller
Another particularly painful form of recovery is myofascial release. My chiropractor does this on my piriformis (butt/hip muscle) when I see her. It basically involves her jamming her thumbs into my butt while I do a leg stretch to break up tight muscle fibers (from what I understand). It's the kind of thing that "hurts good" because it hurts but I know it's helping loosen up my tight muscles. 

And then there's the foam roller, which is a way for self-myofascial release. The idea behind the foam roller is to use your body weight on the roller to create pressure and break up muscle knots that form that can't be broken up by stretching alone. Typically the area of concern for distance runners is the IT band, the iliotibial band which (in simplistic terms) connects your hips to your knees. Tightness in the IT band is usually the culprit of knee and hip pain in runners. Loosening up the knots in this muscle is very important for preventing this pain. 

I myself was talked into the "trigger point" foam roller (are you noticing a trend? I can be talked into anything at a running store). It is particularly gnarly, with little trigger points on it that change the pressure feeling on the area. It's a blessing and a curse, as foam rolling can be kind of painful. I find it's also helpful to not roll, but just rest on the points in the areas I need it. This set me back about $40, but they last longer than the regular foam rollers. 

I've also heard people swear by the following, although I haven't tried any of these:

1. KT Tape: 
You may have seem athletes during the Olympics with all sorts of brightly colored tape. That stuff is KT Tape, or Kinesiology Therapeutic Tape. The tape provides pain relief by relieving pressure in the pain area and increasing circulation to help recovery. And the best part is that the tape application lasts for days. They had a booth at the Expo at the Rock N Roll Half Marathon, taping up everyone's aches and pains, and the application lasts until after the race. 

2. Epsom salt bath:
Many people tout the benefits of Epsom salt baths, for minor aches and pains, soreness, inflammation, hangovers, you name it. 

3. Massage Stick:
This is a lighter form of myofascial release, more of a massage, but working on the same concept of breaking up tightened muscles. 

4. Compression socks/sleeves:
These are also supposed to help support circulation and reduce cramping. Runners wear them during and after races to help prevent inflammation and muscle soreness. They sell them for arms, quads, calves, and feet, and in BRIGHT colors so you can also wear them at night and people will see you for miles. 

Anything else I'm missing that you swear by for running recovery?

My mom's long walk

For those of you who don't know (or aren't related to) my Mom, you may not know how much of an awesome woman she is. So let me tell you a little about her. Among other things, she owns a small business (started by my Pépère), is the oldest of 7 children, raised two great daughters (if I do say so myself), is a fantastically accomplished sewer/knitter/quilter, used to ride a Harley, travels the world, and is a generally overall great woman. As I grow older, I grow more appreciative of my Mother and the way she raised me, to be a smart, practical, caring person. There are many times in my adult life that I find myself starting stories with "My Mom used to say..." My mind collected all of her good advice and I'm glad I remembered it, because she was right about a lot of stuff. And, being in the same industry (fire protection/construction) I can even call her for work advice. That has come in handy more than a few times on the job!

My Mom has always been my biggest supporter. She encouraged Megan and I to be whatever we wanted to be when we grew up, coached us through the inevitable changing of our minds, provided us with a great work ethic that came from our summers of working at her office, and an overall example of how to be a good person. She came out to help me recover from both of my surgeries, and has always listened happily to me babble on the phone about this or that, including all of my running and training. And even though she is allergic to cats, she even made Penny her very own quilt, tolerates her "singing", and the blanket of cat hair that covers my condo when she comes to visit.  

Another awesome thing about my Mom is she recently finished the Susan G. Komen 3-day, which consists of walking 60 miles in 3 days. Wow! She walked in Boston on the team "Miles for Megan" in memory of my sister. She raised $19,975 and was one of the top fundraisers in the whole event. She held the "Daughter" banner at the Opening Ceremony. Also, to help raise money, she raffled off a quilt that was a copy of one that she and Megan designed together. 

If you want to feel like you were there, Billy (my stepdad) took about a thousand pictures of the event that you can see here. I think Mom may have inspired a few of us to train for next year. 

My Aunt Louise and my Mom!

Here is the thank you letter my Mom sent out to all of the donors:

Dear Supporter:
A big Thank You to you for being part of the more than 175 donors who contributed a total of $19,975 towards my walking team, MILES FOR MEGAN! The three of us, our awesome Captain, Laura Martin Brady, wonderful Deanna Misilo and myself are pictured above at the finish line of our 60-mile walk that took place over three days, July 27th, 28th and 29th.
We estimate that among the three of us, we took approximately 360,000 steps to reach our 60-mile goal!
The Boston Group of the Komen Foundation raised $3.2 million dollars.  What an accomplishment!
The weekend was filled with tears, smiles and laughs.
And the “angels”; we met hundreds of people all along our walking path who cheered us on, provided us with refreshments, water and encouragement.
The crew was phenomenal.  There was a happy face wherever we were whether it was serving us meals, repairing our blisters, helping to set up our tents, riding bikes all along the route….. You name it, they did it.
If you want to hear more about our week-end, visit either one of our Face Book pages where we’ve been posting comments and pictures.
And, the winner of the quilt that my mom, Pierrette Lemieux and I made in honor of my daughter Megan, was Joan Shurtleff, of Lakeville, MA.
Again, I can’t thank you all enough.  Hoping that through all of our collective efforts, the words “Breast Cancer” will be rubbed out of the dictionary.
--Pauline L Lally

I couldn't ask for a better role model and inspiration to complete my own challenge in front of me. Our journeys are different but very similar. Her walk and my marathon are events that are somewhat out of character for both of us. But talking with her through her training and seeing her finish (well, remotely, I wish I could have been there!), it gives me so much inspiration. And I'll be very excited to see her when I cross the finish line on October 7. Thanks Mom!! 

Accidental running diva

This weekend my Dad was visiting (HI DAD!) and we went to Fleet Feet to pick up a birthday present for me, new shoes! I did just buy a new pair of shoes not that long ago, but estimates for the limit on shoes are 300-500 miles. With ~25 miles per week, I figured it might be safe to have a second broken in pair in the rotation rather than needing a new pair right around the marathon. 


I know you're not supposed to pick shoes based on color, and they even have a sign to this effect in the store. So without letting my eyes be my guide, I ended up picking out my pair. And they were red. After making my decision, like a total diva, I asked the salesperson, "I know you're not supposed to pick on color, and I really like these, but I'm running for a breast cancer organization and they'll clash! Do you have any others?" 

Thankfully, they did, so now I have a sweet pair of blue shoes that won't clash with all my pink running gear. Success!

Watch out, I'll be slowly trudging past you in these!

Other than that, I've pretty much just been plodding along in the training. I've been able to complete all of my runs, adding more Pilates to the routine, and I've also gone swimming in the pool, that seems to be able to keep my back loose. I'm sad my back is not fully healed yet, but so far it hasn't stopped me from completing my mileage, and that's the best I can ask for. My chiropractor also recommended incorporating a 30 min sports massage into my next appointment before my next half marathon (yes, please), so hopefully that helps too. I'm always going to wish I were faster, but for the most part I've completely gotten over my slow pace and just set my sights on finishing with minimal walking. 

I also have to give a shoutout to Tim, who is handling his running diva like a champ. I'm pretty sure him and everyone else I know is sick of my talking about running, Clif Shots vs. Gu, ice baths, and soreness, but it's pretty much all I do! And I've been known to get a huge case of grumps. He's wonderful for dealing with me, I am so appreciative. I showed him this video my friend Lauren posted to warn him of what's to come, it's pretty funny. Maybe Tim will have enough of his own advice to share with you all about dealing with your Running Diva!

The locker room

As a 29 year-old, I never thought I'd have locker room insecurities again. Anyone who made it through middle school and high school gym classes knows how it is. There's something about stripping down to your skivvies and putting on gym clothes that is both a great equalizer and brings out every insecurity about your body. Especially in middle school, where everyone is growing into and trying not to be so awkward about their own bodies. I think I was so modest that I would change in a stall and not out in the open with other girls. I can't even remember because I completely blocked it out! As adults, I'm sure almost everyone gets over it, especially at the gym. Who cares? 

Does the sight of this bring back terrible memories?

What's strange is that I have had to take off my clothes and have my chest stared at a LOT in the last 6 months. There was the pre-op appointment, where Dr. Kim drew the red lines on my chest just like they do on TV, in front of Mom and Tim. (Welcome to the family, Tim!) Post-surgery my Mom helped me shower and get dressed every day. And plenty of doctors and nurses have looked at them during follow up appointments. I don't really feel insecure about the boobs or the scars, especially not around doctors or my family. I even sort of take pride in my drain scars that you can see when I wear sleeveless clothes. They're battle scars, they represent my journey. And I think my boobs look great in clothes, you really can't tell they're any different. I have gotten completely used to them and I can't remember what it's like to have the floppy version 1.0. In the flesh, they're a little less than perfect. They're a little uneven, the nipple that almost fell off looks very different, I still have the thin skin issue, and of course I have two big scars running underneath them. But I never really cared, because everyone that has seen them knows exactly what I have been through. 

Another reason to not be shy about my scars is that in the breast cancer community there is a sort of "Show and Tell" atmosphere. Patients and previvors who have undergone a mastectomy are proud to show other women contemplating surgery what they ended up with as a means to compare doctors, and get an idea of what they're in for. I saw my sister's after her surgery and I looked through many pages of doctor photo galleries to get an idea of what I would look like. I think it really helps to manage expectations. That's why I'm more than happy and not an ounce shy to show them to my curious friends, or would be more than willing to show someone who is contemplating the same surgery. I also took some pictures early on and I'm glad I saved them, because it reminds me how much better they look now. They weren't very pretty right after the mastectomy and during the expansions. I made Tim look every step of the way, because I knew they weren't going to be "perfect" afterwards, so I wanted him to see the improvement too. I am so lucky to have a very supportive partner, I can't imagine the awkward conversations that single women post-mastectomy are forced to have in their dating life.  

Somehow this doesn't translate to the gym though. They are total strangers there! I can't announce every time I take off my shirt, "Hey I had a double mastectomy! Don't worry though, not cancer." Admittedly, I'm sure exactly zero people have gotten a peek at them and if they did, they probably don't care. I resist the urge to change in a stall, because I don't want to have to hide them or be ashamed of them. I really shouldn't be. But every time I go to the gym, as soon as I walk into the locker room, I get a twinge of anxiety about taking off my shirt. I'm not sure it will ever go away. But hey, at least I'm not insecure about the rest of my body anymore.

Friendly reminder: C25K

For any of you running or planning to run the Run Like an Antelope 5K on October 14th,  don't forget this is Week 1 of the Couch to 5K program. There are 9 weeks until the race, and if you have never run a 5K before, now is the time to start training! 

Many of my friends and family are running the race, and some are coming from far away. I am so humbled and excited for all of the people who knew or have never met Megan that are coming out for the race. For some, it's their first 5K. I'm extremely proud and happy for anyone who has decided to run and has embarked on a training plan to run their first race.  Running is a great part of a healthy lifestyle and exercise routine; it's humbling, exhilarating, and there's a steep improvement curve. I'm glad I've stuck with it. I won't lie, there are many times I don't enjoy it, but a lot of time I do, and I almost always leave every run with a sense of accomplishment. 

Of course I can think of no better first race than Megan's, as there is a personal meaning for me and many other people. The post-race party with food and beer can't hurt either :) I think she would be happy to know she has encouraged so many people to be active. 

I remember my first 5K--it was in Chicago. Mom, Megan, and I ran the United Run for the Zoo in 2008 with Rusty and Billy as our "athletic supporters." As a family that could not be described as athletic, it was kind of surprising that the three of us signed up for a 5K as part of our vacation. But during my first visit home the winter after moving to Chicago, Mom, Billy and I went to see Megan and Rusty run the Jingle Bell 5K in Somerville, MA. We watched their race, then followed to a nearby bar for some Harpoon post-race beers. It  seemed like a fun time, and I was inspired to find one back in Chicago. Megan inspired me to run my first 5K and look where it has led--I'm training for my first marathon. Be careful all of you who are signed up for the race, you never know what kind of habits you'll be starting!

Megan, Mom, and I at the United Run for the Zoo in 2008