5:21:39!

I DID IT! Sunday I ran the Chicago Marathon with a time of 5:21:39. I am a marathoner! There are lots of thoughts following, so bear with me.

My medal!

Running for Team Bright Pink was awesome. Now that I've run with a charity team, I can't imagine training alone! I had to raise a fair amount of money, but what we got back in return from Bright Pink was great and very supportive. Aside from the training program, access to the FFC gyms, spa night, and various seminars, we had a pasta party the night before the race. Here we got to meet the rest of the team (many were from out of town) and enjoyed some last minute carbo-loading. We also heard a lot of about Bright Pink and their mission, and I got to meet and talk with the founder Lindsay Avner and some of the other staff. I told Lindsay about Megan and I, how I was BRCA-2 positve and that I was very inspired by her to get my own prophylactic double mastectomy. She also complimented the new ones :) Because Bright Pink has given me so much I was honored to be a part of giving something back. 

Lindsay Avner and I, founder of Bright Pink. 

Our coaches also came and gave us more tips, since the weather at the start (~40 degrees) would be much colder than what we had been training in. Those tips were indispensable, including wearing a trash bag at the start! On race morning, our team met at the FFC gym where we also met for our regular long runs, since it was close to the start. I also got a ride from my training buddy Linsey, who has regularly been carting me around to and from the long runs. This all helped me feel relaxed, seeing my team and coaches the night before and following the same morning routine. I tried to think of the race as a regular Saturday run to calm my nerves.  

Me and my training buddy Linsey ready to rock it!

(Most of) Team Bright Pink pre-race

I am so so grateful for everyone who came out to support me. Knowing that I would see Tim, Mom, and Billy at the designated places (together with Ethan at the last 2!) gave me something to look forward to. I wrote an itinerary so I would see them at miles 4, 11, 21.5, and 26. They are such troopers for braving the cold and trekking around the city to see me. I can't describe how much it helped me keep going, knowing I'd see them coming up. It was also helpful knowing that I could chuck my long sleeve shirt at them when I warmed up, and that Tim had extra Gu and Body Glide in case something went really wrong. 

The race itself was great. My secret goal was definitely too ambitious. Everyone says that for first time marathoners, the goal should just be to finish. And now I see why because 26.2 miles is REALLY LONG! I probably would have had to run the race of my life to break 5 hours. My training pace might have been close, but I get to pause my watch in training when I stop to get water, hydrate, and stretch, but the race clock doesn't stop! I also didn't really do any math to come up with my goal, I just doubled my best half marathon time. But that's okay because my secondary goal was to run the whole race without walking, and to run all the hills, especially the one at the end. Check, and check.  

A testament to my training, I don't think it ever occurred to me during the race that I might not finish. I just somehow knew I could do it, and I didn't even doubt it. Sure, I was tired and my knees hurt, but my legs cooperated, my stomach felt fine, and I really don't think I ever hit "the wall." Throughout the last half of the course you see people at the Medical tents, stopping to stretch, and you wonder what happened and are thankful that's not you. Some people get up and finish, and I hope that's what I could do if something went awry. Everyone can have a bad run, but the hope is that through training you've encountered and beat all of the challenges. Through our training I was able to overcome my mental obstacles, build my endurance, test out all my gear and hydration so I knew I wouldn't chafe or upset my stomach. I knew my shoes were great, and I wouldn't get blisters. When I got to the start line and started running, I just knew I could do it because that's what I trained to do and I was prepared.  

Another reason I knew I could do it was because of all of YOU! I am so thankful for everyone who sent me well wishes, from my family to my donors, my chiropractor, everyone who was tracking me, friends, and strangers, and everyone who thought of me on Sunday. I had my name on my visor and my bib, and I just loved people encouraging me by name on the course. Every time it made me smile when strangers would cheer me on. The Chicago Marathon is packed with spectators the whole way. The course winds through 29 different neighborhoods and the character comes through all the way. People holding up signs, clapping, handing out water and food and beer. Even if I never run another marathon in Chicago, you better believe I'll be on the course cheering people on, because it meant so much to me. 

I wrote all of my donors on my back.  THANK YOU EVERYONE!!

My miles donors written on my arm.

Okay now onto the course. I felt great for the first few miles downtown. All smiles, I made it over all of the bridges just fine (the course crosses the Chicago River three times during the first three or so miles in the course), and was excited that I'd be seeing my family at mile 4. I saw them, gave a nice smile and wave, and settled in for the rest of the north trek. I was actually on pace to meet my goal, so I was pretty excited. On this stretch north, I saw one of the greatest things--we passed by the nursing home around Sheridan and Belmont, and there were old folks inside waving to us from the second floor windows, and runners waving back. That was so awesome, it almost brought a tear to my eye!

Continuing north and turning at Addison, I was actually still maintaining my pace but somewhere around mile 10, I was starting to get tired, and I realized if I was going to finish this thing, I couldn't maintain that pace. And making it to the end was obviously my real goal, so I forgot about my secret goal and just tried to keep smiling. I knew it would take most of my mental energy to get me the whole way, so that became my focus, and if I was close to my goal at the halfway point, I would re-evaluate. I knew I didn't want to walk, and that I wanted to tackle all of the hills. (As I've said before, hills in Chicago aren't quite hills, but they sure feel huge when you're running and tired!) 

A lot of the race was a blur, but I kept making little mental goals. I knew I'd be seeing Elvis around mile 10 near Fleet Feet (I gave him a high five) and I also recognized someone from college that I haven't seen since graduation. After I saw my family around mile 11 I said "See you soon!" Okay it would be 10 miles, close to 2 hours, but I had to stay positive! My next goal after that was returning to downtown, the halfway mark, and heading out to the West Loop. I was feeling good, and we rounded a corner onto Halsted at a huge cheer zone and they were blasting "Call Me Maybe." You know I sang all the words! In fact I was probably "that girl" during the race, talking to strangers and being a little ridiculous, singing along to the songs, but it really helped keep me distracted and encouraged. The Clif Shot station around 17.8 miles was another goal where I might see my friend Steve. Miracle of all miracles, I saw him! He ran with me for maybe a half mile and gave me lots of encouragement. By then we only had single digit miles left to go. The rest of the race was a blur, there were a few lonely miles but I just tried to tick them off one by one and get closer to the finish. The next place I would see my family was Chinatown, where I hear it's just a big party and I knew I'd see my family again. I slowed down, trying to pick them out of the crowd, and finally saw them. I threw my shirt at Tim, as it had finally warmed up, and kept on going. 

After that, I only had about 5 miles to go. I owned this! The southernmost part of the course after Chinatown was a little rough, but I knew we'd be turning soon. At Mile 23 I heard people give out beer in Dixie cups, and when I saw them I thought what the heck, since I was nowhere near my goal. After that, with only 5K left, being "that girl" I yelled out "We eat 5Ks for breakfast!" Well no one seemed to respond but it sure helped me! The last stretch coming up Michigan seemed like forever, but the miles went by until there was only 1 left. At this point, the crowds are pretty thin, but I knew we'd be seeing them again. Part of me wanted to push it, but I kept thinking about the big hill at the end, and I really wanted to tackle that one. Plus, you know, I was exhausted. Almost at the end, I thought I was going to lose it, but it's pretty hard to breath when you're crying, so I held it back.  

I saw my family again at Mile 26 and knew I owned this! I ran up the hill and passed this guy who was shuffling up. This guy was clearly in pain, dragging himself up, not even walking, holding the flag of his country, with a course official close next to him making sure he was okay. The determination on that guy's face was inspiring. I yelled "You got this! The finish line is over this hill!" and kept going. Then I turned the corner and saw it. Finally!! Crossed the finish, with my arms in the air, and cried my eyes out. What a release. Then I got my cool space jacket, told the medal people "Medal me!" and then the beer people "Beer me!" I shuffled to the exit, cursed the soul who put stairs there, then somehow found my family in the huge crowd. It was so great to see them, all smiles again!!

Billy taking a picture of me and my medal! I highly recommend bringing your own paparazzi when you run a marathon.

So what's next for me? Well this coming Sunday is Run Like an Antelope, the race in memory of my sister. There's still time to sign up! After that, I'm going to let my body heal for awhile, but I have signed up for a few 5Ks before the end of the year, a half marathon in January, the Soldier Field 10 miler in May, and the Women's Half Marathon in June. I can't guarantee that I'll be running another marathon any time soon, at least not until my legs forget what I've put them through. And I won't stop my involvement with Bright Pink, I am volunteering for their VIPink event in a few weeks and hope to continue attending their outreach events. 

And finally, Happy Birthday to Megan, who would be 32 today. You kept me going every step of the way, and when I needed a little push I would say "Let's do this, Megan!" I am ever grateful for you and your inspiration. I love you, I couldn't have done it without you. 

Track me, maybe?

So if you, like me, are excited for me to run the Chicago Marathon on Sunday, you may be thinking, "Wow Jocelyn how can I track you?" You might not be, but I'm going to tell you anyways! 

My bib # is 50108. (Aside: That's right, there's 50,000 runners. Amazing. The town I grew up in, Acushnet, MA, had a population of 10,303 in the 2010 census). If you would like to "follow" me via text, you can sign up with my bib # here. You will get my 10K, half marathon, 30K, and finish splits. 

Tim and my parents are going to spectate. I am picking out a few places for them to see. You can meet up with them (let me know if you need Tim's #). Or if you have your own plans to spectate elsewhere for the race, PLEASE let me know approximately where so I can look out for you. I'm sure I will be happy to see familiar faces!

Here is the map of the Chicago Marathon. I have been staring at this course now for 5 months-it's hanging up at my desk. I have taken the bus/walked/run many of these streets before, but this is different! The course runs through downtown, up to the north side, past my first apartment, through Lincoln Park where I have run many 5Ks, past the gym where I've been training, past my last apartment, the place where Tim and I had our first date, the running store where I've spent loads of money, past my office, by the United Center, through areas I've never been to, Chinatown (which I hear is just a big party on race day!), by Sox Park, and finally up Michigan, past "the legs" where all of our Saturday runs have started, and finally up Mount Roosevelt to the finish in Grant Park. 

I am anticipating seeing off my cheer squad when I head into to the start corrals around 7am, and them heading up to Clark/Division on the Red Line where they can see me around Miles 4 &11. After that, I think the next place for them will be in Chinatown, around Mile 21. Hopefully they can make it back to Roosevelt in time to see me right near the end at Mile 26. It's an ambitious plan, let's hope it works!

You know how Tim likes to tweet! So he will use the hashtag for the race is #runladyrun. Hopefully he can update you if the above plans change. 

Before you go, here's some fun facts about the Chicago Marathon (thanks wikipedia):

• The Chicago Marathon is one of the five World Major Marathons, which includes Boston, Chicago, New York, Berlin, and London. 
• This year is the race's official 35th anniversary, although the race existed in different forms before 1977. Its original name in 1977 was the Mayor Daley Marathon.
• The first marathon in Chicago was in 1905, starting from Evanston, with 20 registered runners. Only 15 actually started and 7 finished. 
• The Chicago Marathon is an open field and there is no qualifying time.
• The marathon draws lots of registrants because of the open field, and being fast and flat. 
• World records have been broken on the Chicago course four times. Paula Radcliffe set a world record on the course in 2002 at 2:17:18, which is still the women's course record. 
• This year Liliya Shobukhova of Russia is going for her uprecedented 4th consecutive win. 

I am honored to be part of this tradition and can't wait to for race day! That's it for now, I'm sure I'll have some last minute thoughts/nerves before the race. 

You've come a long way, baby.

It's here. Race week! In the past few weeks since my 20-miler high, I have waffled through every emotion possible. Twinge in my quad, mild cold, nervousness, being antsy, feeling like a slacker, unsure of my preparation, excited, and back to nervous again. I just got back from a pretty great 4 mile run so I'm settling on excited for now. 

Last week I was feeling very blah, and I pinpointed why during my run this Saturday. It just all came over me that there is so much going on these next few weeks (marathon, trying on my wedding dress with Mom, going back to Worcester for Megan's race, Megan's birthday, visiting the wedding venue in New Bedford, going to the catering tasting) and I'm feeling a huge hole because I would be sharing every minute of it with Megan. And I'm not. But on the way back from our run Saturday I was talking about this with my training buddy (who also lost her Dad to cancer) and not to sound trite, but you're allowed to let the sadness to take over, but you're also allowed to turn it into something positive to motivate you. I am very sad Megan isn't here, but I would hate to let being sad take over and not give this everything I have. I'm sure she will be encouraging and motivating me next Sunday just like she would if she were here. I would hate to wake up on Monday thinking I could have done better. 

Lots of marathoners say that the training is the hard part, and the marathon is a 26.2 mile party to the finish. Well that sounds good! It makes sense, seeing as how I've been training all summer. The preparation is (mostly) done, and I just have to trust my training to take me there. Someone else at my recent panel also suggested going back and looking through your training log to get yourself excited. As an engineer, I love stats and numbers, so of course I like to look back at my runs in Daily Mile. Check out my training for the last 26 weeks, when I first signed up for the marathon:

My training for the last 6 months. 

I've run almost 400 miles! That's further than it is from Chicago to Cleveland, Des Moines, St. Louis, Milwaukee, Green Bay, or Detroit. Almost to Minneapolis. 

Going further back, 7.5 months ago I had a double mastectomy and I got so winded I could hardly walk up my stairs at home. And then had my implant exchange surgery 2 months later. I think getting to where I am now, ready to run a marathon, is already quite an accomplishment. Even further back, the longest distance I had run before training was 10 miles. Now I've run two half marathons in preparation (with many more 13mi+ training runs). I was also exchanging stories with one of my marathoner co-workers today and I remembered a time even further back in high school on the track team (I didn't run, threw shot put and discus of course) when there were only 2 entrants in the 1600 (2 mi), so my team convinced me to run and get an automatic point. I got lapped! But hey, I finished. Point well earned. 

This summer I have worked so hard, as you have read, waking up early, training, soaking in ice baths, and stretching, and this is the week to enjoy how far I've come and get ready for the big race. I've had good runs, and bad runs, but I've done every training run, even if I had to cut a few of them short. I feel confident I can run the race I've trained for. I of course have a secret goal that I would love to crush, but realistically, I just want to finish with a smile. And I can't wait to see familiar faces on the course, and Tim, Mom, and Billy at the finish!

Taper time

Well dear friends, I am halfway through my taper time. For you non-distance runners out there, the taper is the time 2-3 weeks out from the marathon our mileage is severely cut back to rest up for race day. In the peak weeks of my training (before the 20 miler), I built up a lot of endurance and depleted a lot of my energy stores. This time is used for my body to repair itself, build up my glycogen stores, and mentally prepare for the race. The point is to rest, but not too much. This figure from another running blog shows visually how tapering can help your body for race day. 

Taper!! From runningnut dot com

I've heard many stories or people getting through their taper, enjoying their taper, and making themselves crazy during their taper. Having built up to our peak mileage, having to cut back leaves people with a lot of antsy energy. I've fallen into each of these categories at some point!

My body is definitely enjoying the break from the high weekly miles, maybe a little too much. I've been feeling a little under the weather the last few days, so I'm hoping I get all of this out of my system before race day. I have been drinking lots of Emergen-C, hot tea, Gatorade, and water, and getting lots of rest. I admit that every tiny twinge I feel freaks me out, but overall I'm feeling pretty good. I just need to maintain the same level of focus I have been for the final home stretch. The most important thing for me to do is follow the training plan and stay consistent. No use trying to work on speed, throw in a little extra mileage, or do an extra work out. You can't cram for a marathon, the hard work is done and behind me.

Tomorrow is our last group long run (6 miles...I remember when that was our long run in the beginning!) before the race. After that, there are a handful of 4 mile runs and then finally RACE DAY! In the next week I will be posting more information on the race, where you can spectate on the course, how to track me during the race. Another tip from the panel I attended last week was to go through your old training logs, so that you can remember how far you've come. Keep your eyes out for more to come!

I apologize in advance to anyone and everyone I speak to in the next nine days because I will not SHUT UP about the marathon. I will be obsessing about weather reports, what I'm wearing, a minor muscle ache in my quad, hydration, eating. Just remind me to stay excited and enjoy myself. I'll thank you later. 

Race day checklist

Because I'm a Type A personality (you knew that, right?) I have attended no less than 1 seminar on the marathon, received a checklist from my trainer, talked to every marathoner I know, and read countless articles to better prepare myself for marathon day. There's a Plan A and a Plan B in the works. Because, you know, you have to be prepared and then be ready for not being prepared. I'm notorious for forgetting my phone, wallet, keys, race bibs, grocery list, etc, so this is why I like to make lists so I hopefully don't forget any of these things. 

My race day list includes many things, including all of my hydration needs, race bib, watch, body glide, wallet, clothes to change into for the post-race party, compression socks, etc. But most importantly is what I'm going to wear for the race. It's hard enough to pick what to wear every day, but try picking out what you want to wear for your first marathon! There's a lot of trial and error that went into finding the perfect long distance running clothing, at least for me. I've got to find something that's comfortable and gets the job done, whatever job that may be, without chafing, riding up, etc. From the top down, hats, shirts, shorts, socks, and shoes, any bad item can make for a frustrating run. 

Top: You may remember I posted about my favorite tanks earlier this summer. Well I've got some runners up now to choose from, one from Moving Comfort and one from Athleta. They both have really great support up top, fit very well, and have pockets. Of course, the snag is that it's recently been a little bit colder and who knows what the weather will be like on race day, so a tank top might not do it, especially if on race day I have to mill about at the start line for an hour. People usually recommend wearing a junky t-shirt or getting tube socks and cutting off the feet to make armwarmers so you can just take them off and chuck them after you're warmed up, so I might do that. 

Bottoms: I have a favorite pair of Adidas running capris that I've worn for many races, but they don't have any pockets (which is why I love tanks with pockets!)

Head: Some people go the sunglasses route, and others hats/visors. I still have never tried sunglasses, so I'll just stick to hats. I really like wearing my Red Sox hat at races (as evidenced by the sweat rings it now has), but it gets too hot during the long distances to be practical. I've been sporting a black visor, that's probably what I'll wear on race day. I will also put my name on my visor, on bright pink duct tape, because one tip I've heard from so many people is to have your name visible so people can cheer you on. 

Socks: My favorites are Balegas. I've never had a blister (knock on wood) and their short socks have a little tab the protect my heel from chafing. They're about $10 a pair but worth every penny. 

Shoes: The newer of my 2 pairs of shoes are the Saucony's that I posted about a few weeks ago. Unless I feel any pain, they'll be my goto for the race. 

Not so coincidentally, this is the outfit I wore for my last half marathon! So if you're looking to cheer me on during the race, look for a lady dressed like this, except her bib # will be 50108. Also be nice to her and remind her to smile because she's going twice as far as she did that day:

Marathon veterans, anything else I'm forgetting?

No one likes a Negative Nancy

So this weekend, I finished my longest training run, 20 miles! A lot of people from our team turned out, it was pretty inspiring. We did a loop that went south, then back, then north, then back, so we end up passing by teammates multiple times on the course. I liked that. Also, spending 4 hours alone with my thoughts was something, and I think I really turned a corner after this run, and am filled with confidence that I can run the marathon. Here's some of what I focused on or learned this run:

I can run it alone.
For the last few runs I have been going with a buddy, which made the time go much faster, but she is actually must faster than me so this weekend she went with a faster group and I was by myself. On race day I have to be by myself, so I was glad to have the practice and be able to be my own motivator. Before she came along I was doing a lot of walking still, so I'm glad to have gotten through this one without walking. 

I don't have to be fast. 
For the first few miles I could see the faster pack in front of me and struggled to keep up. Then finally, I just let them go. I know they're faster than me. I know it. I just stopped caring. I have to run at the pace that I know I can, and stop trying to constantly catch up with people I can't hang with. There will always be people faster than me, and I'm not out to beat anyone, I just want to finish. As long as they don't shuffle me off the course and I finish on my own 2 feet, I will consider it a success.

I can finish. And maybe do better than I think. 
For some reason, every time I did the math for my projected finish time in the marathon, I would always round up--by a lot. I'm not sure if it's because I wanted a goal I knew I could break, or if I just expected myself to fall apart and do a lot of walking. I put myself in the last corral, without even doing the math, even though I probably belong in the one before that. Finally, after running 20 miles, I actually feel like I can finish without falling apart. 

Focus on Form
One of our trainers really resonates with me, and he gave us a few tips before the run. He talked about our posture, form, and staying positive. I forgot half of his tips, but the one on form really stuck with me, and I would pick it up whenever I got tired. When you're running, your arms should be going straight front and back, not across your chest. When I'm tired, I tend to get poor form, slump over, and drag my arms across my chest. So I would focus on my form when I knew I was tired, it helped me get through some rough patches. 

SMILE
I think the trainer's best tip was to SMILE! Having a positive attitude is so important. The camaraderie on the lakefront path on Saturday was awesome, so many people were out there running their 20 milers. It really does change your attitude to see so many smiles rather than exhausted faces. At my last half marathon, I tried to have a really fun race, smile for all the cameras, and give the thumbs up as much as possible. Maybe it's no coincidence that I had a great race! 

I am my biggest believer
It is finally dawning on me just how mental distance running is. You may remember my post about the little devil on my shoulder. Well, there is no room for him any more. I can do this, and I just may surprise myself how well I do it. It's funny when people would ask me how my last half marathon went I would say, "Great!" but when they asked me about my time, I would say, "Well I'm really slow, so just under 2:30." I don't know why I feel the need to tell everyone I'm slow, finishing a half marathon is a huge accomplishment! No need to front load with an apology. I have to be my biggest cheerleader. 

When I got back from my run, the trainer said, "You did it! How did it feel?" And without warning, I started to cry. Because it went well. And this was the first time I actually felt it and now I believe it. I can actually do this, I am going to run the marathon.  

To my biggest supporter: Tim

I know Tim loves it when I mention him in my blog, so Tim here's a whole post just about you!

They say behind every successful man is a strong woman, or something like that, but behind this strong woman is a supportive man: Tim. You are the best. 

Tim was the first person I asked back in May if running the marathon was a good idea or not. His response: "Why the hell not!" Not sure either of us knew what we were signing up for, but it's been a long journey. Just like me, Tim has lost his leisurely weekends. He's also gained a grumpy, tired, and often hungry fiancée and a Saturday 5am wakeup call. We joke that Tim is my athletic supporter, but he really is. He has come almost all of my races since we've been together, holding my bag, taking pictures, coming out onto the course to see me, waiting around for anywhere between 30 minutes to 2.5 hours, listening to me decrompress afterwards, and of course on many occasions, sharing celebratory brunch. He is who I look forward to seeing at the finish line, and it always makes me smile. I am very excited that he will be there to cheer me on during the marathon. The course even goes by the site of our first date! I will be very thankful to see him, my parents, and other familiar faces on the course. 

He has also been incredibly encouraging during training. He adds another layer of accountability for me when I tell him the game plan for the day. Tim is a great cook and loves to do it; it's nice to come home to a prepared meal, especially since I haven't felt much like cooking lately. He gets the pot of hot coffee ready on my way home from my long runs, so I can jump into the ice bath as soon as I get home. And of course he listens to me because I probably don't shut up about all of this, since it has consumed my life.  

On a few occasions, Tim has even run with me. Those times mean so much to me, especially since I know he hates it.  I try to make sure I only ask him to do fun races or things important to me, like the Terrapin 5K earlier this summer for my birthday or the Run Like an Antelope race in Memory of my sister Megan. He even let me sign us up for the Santa Hustle 5K in December--they give you a Santa shirt, beard and hat!

Tim and I at the Ravenswood Run

Tim has had to go along with a lot of my crazy ideas, and I love and appreciate him for that. A good sport doesn't even begin to describe him. He is truly a great partner, on top of being a good listener, caretaker, and my personal chef. He has been there so much for me in the past few years, I can't imagine how it must feel on his end to be asked for so much. Relationships are about give and take, and we've both had our share on either side of the equation, but lately I've been the taker. I ask him to take care of my blind cat while I'm away and I drag him (a true blue Yankees fan) to Fenway Park every April. He has met everyone in my huge family and bonded with many of them over good food and brews. It always made me so happy whenever I heard him joking around or laughing with Mom, Billy, Dad, Rusty and Megan, I know he fits in! He was supportive of me when I decided to get tested for the BRCA genetic mutation, listened as I weighed the options for having a mastectomy, was by my side at my sister's funeral, sat in the waiting room for hours with my Mom when I had my double mastectomy, again when I had my reconstruction, and listened to me whine about the tissue expanders in the meantime. I feel like I have asked a lot of him, but he's been there every time.

I couldn't ask for a better partner in life. He's my perfect fit. Here's to a long and healthy rest of our lives together!